If there is one adjective that is discussed pretty much when it comes to women, it’s femininity. Judging by how often it’s discussed, it’s easily the most sought-after quality after beauty. To most men, feminity is like the proverbial oasis in a dry desert. Feminity is what the Spanish conquistador Juan Ponce de León would’ve been looking for if he hadn’t been looking for the fountain of youth. But whereas beauty is easily understood and needs no further explanation – for men you’re either attracted or not, feminity is more opaque and complicated.
With rushed lives and multiple demands, it can be hard to take time to feel feminine. And while the ideology of feminism undoubtedly did some good in some ways, the more fanatical strains held that there were no real innate differences between men and women at all. Fortunately science has found that idea to be false, so thankfully women can embrace their very real femininity once more. Here are some steps that might help you to develop or may be just to take out of you these feelings.
1) Enjoy being a woman
Sure, men prefer feminine women, who tend to make them feel, in turn, more masculine. But pleasing men certainly shouldn’t be the only reason to enjoy your femininity. Take time, now, to actually think: what makes you feel most feminine? What kinds of situations? Some less feminine women may attack others they see as ‘more girly’, as people do sometimes oppose those who are different from themselves; but stand up and be feminine if that’s what you want.
2) Realize femininity means strength
Not all strength looks the same. It doesn’t all have to be over-powering, confrontational or aggressive.
I think traditional femininity upset some feminists because they felt typically feminine attributes such as inclusiveness, wanting to look nice, being caring, and wanting to be a homemaker rather than a dealmaker equated with being ‘weak’. Rubbish.
Women were once described as the ‘weaker sex’. Actually, all the research points to women being the stronger sex. Women may be the ‘fairer sex’, but they are not the weaker sex. And there is nothing weak or subservient in being typically feminine. Typically, femininity means strength, not weakness.
3) Feminine grace
Think how the history used to describe women that were admired for their femininity (which always refers to more than just looks). The likes of Audrey Hepburn and Grace Kelly projected their femininity through their ‘grace’ and ‘elegance’.
A sense of grace is strongly aligned with femininity. To move gracefully implies making smooth movements rather than jerky, powerful ones. Of course, you might want to move like a lumberjack in the gym or when swimming, but you could enjoy being svelte and smooth in your movements at the bar or in the café. And you don’t have to be ultra-feminine and graceful all the time.
4) Relax, play and be spontaneous
Being feminine doesn’t mean always trying to be womanly, being on show, trying to be perfect. A sense of humour, not always taking yourself too seriously, and the capacity to be playful sometimes are very feminine traits and healthy for anyone. Laughter and humour bring sparkle and make you feel alive and creative.
Femininity is a central part of who you are and being able to express that will feel wonderful!
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