For a while, I didn’t understand that happiness is something you create and responsible for. I did not know how to create my own happiness and thoughts without being worried about everything. Honestly, all my life I am in rush… in rush of living, in rush of eating, in rush of doing many things at the same time. I always worry about everything, and this is part of my character that I am fighting with. Sometimes I hear from my friends, who do not have kids – how do I find time for everything, and why I am still looking good? It took me a while to understand these principals!
Three years it is not a long time if you look at somebody’s life from aside but not living by yourself. The last three years were for me as a test of endurance and fortitude. Believe me or not, my son helped me to transform my own mentality.
I always knew I didn’t want to raise my kid in the “life is a battle,” motif I grew up with and also was clear that a devotion to materialism didn’t serve us as a family. But when I asked myself the question of how I can raise a happy child with an optimistic view of life, the answer I realized began with happy parents. And if I do not feel consistently happy or understand the sources of my own happiness, then how could I possibly show the right example for my child?
So what are the ways to be a happy mom?
- Sleep enough – Nothing can stress you more than the lack of a sleep. I am not talking about first year of your child, when there is no chance to sleep! I am saying that you need to find a possibility for you to relax without trying to hold everything. If your child has a noon nap – go and rest! Do not wash, clean or cook. Let it go!
- Prepare yourself for the day – if you are a mom, it is not an excuse to look groomed. We all have these days, when you do not want to wear heels or even do a makeup. But your child also wants to see a beautiful mom. Do it for him!
- You NEED time for yourself – time to do what you want and not what you need to do. See the difference? If you give yourself some time you will be more patient, more understandable mom… not “tired horse”. And you know what, I will not be a Columbus here and “open an America” but after a couple of hours I always miss my son and I am more excited to spend time with him.
- Stop worry about everything – let it go! Everyone has the days when nothing is done. If somebody is trying to tell you that she is a super mom, believe me it is not true. Everyone passes through this…
- Never compare yourself to other mothers that seem to have abilities for everything. This is the worthiest thing you can do. Do not spend the precious time of your life looking at others, comparing, calculating how and where. Cause one day you might look back and be sorry that you did not enjoy your own life. Remember you are always doing better than you think, your kid loves you!
Gratitude is a simple way that I believe can help us not just appreciate the everyday moments in our life and live more fully in the present, but also help us rebalance when knocked off our equilibrium… You begin to appreciate the good things not negative.
I am hoping that my experience will help someone, and you will look at the situation from another side. My kid is still small but I am trying to show him a way of seeing the world that appreciates the good things, an eternal optimism instead of the pessimism. I hope he will carry this truth throughout his life.